Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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