Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
