I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
