i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
