He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
