Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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