So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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