my room smells like sperm. sweet.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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