Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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