My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
