..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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