Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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