Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You pole danced in your parka.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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