First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
