If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just want to make out with him forever
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
