dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
