Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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