WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Farmville is her only friend.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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