I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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