She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
