i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
