he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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