we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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