Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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