Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
