He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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