i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
