Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
