the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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