How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
