I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She's just so happy...and so naked.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
