Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
