i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
