I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
