She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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