Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
