party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
