Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
