I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
