I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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