haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
