...so i touched it.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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