She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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