the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
