she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
