Why are handjobs necessary in class?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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