Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
