How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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