just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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