This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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